9.18.2009

My Cup Runneth Over (With Wet Garbage, Confused Hopelessness)

We came back from Oregon feeling financially and spiritually poor and physically ill. Summer feel-goods (the swimming, the board games, the dinners and plans) ushered in circa mid-June dissipated and although the weather remains hot, this Indian Summer has taken on a certain chill as sobering realities have settled like a fog around us. Why is everything so expensive? Why am so ill-equipped to handle life's least challenging adult responsibilities? Why is there so muchcat pee and wet garbage in the house? A recent horoscope implored me (and everyone else born June 21st through July 20th) to ask for help when I need it and quit trying to do everything by myself. Funny, I can't remember a time when I'd either achieved true independence financially or otherwise done anything successfully by myself, ever. I'm not sure what to do, and so I'm going to meditate on it for awhile, and by that I mean hole up someplace listening to a compilation I've made called The Saddest and Most Pathetic Hits of The Carpenters and wait for solutions to come. I AM WAITING.


edit:
Solutions Generated So Far
1. Save Money! Stop buying voluminous pants/bulbous jumpsuits, used books with titles like Heal Your Hormonal Imbalance With Wheatgrass and Occult Practices, organic foods, and hand-fired clay nose douches... and start stealing them?
2. Eliminate Fruit Flies: read up on "home remedies" on the internet, keywords "trick fruit flies" and "voodoo fruit fly end times" and employ them.
3. Reality Check! You'll never afford to not live with 12 people with your job! Use next paycheck to buy tent, join popular nationally- renowned Tent City.
4. Repeat mantras! Try
I AM ON THE FAST TRACK TO POSITIVITY DRIVEN SUCCESS.

4 comments:

Limbless Jack said...

good luck with the fruit flies, muthas wont die, or they just breed at such a high freakin rate. anyways I put some apple up on my blog, ill put the rest up there later

sounds like everythings going great out there.

Alisha! said...

I CAN TRAP YOUR FRUIT FLIES!

Try the "soda bottle fruit fly trap" - but use WHISKEY & COKE as your bait!

Ian Zamboni said...

BTW, Carpenters "deep cuts" necessary for a good mix, in my opinion, include "Mr. Guder" off of CLOSE TO YOU, "All I Can Do" off of TICKET TO RIDE/PASSAGE (featuring Karen drumming), Neil Sedaka's "Solitaire" from the otherwise crummy HORIZON, and of course the surreal cover of Klaatu's "Calling Occupants Of Interplanetary Craft".

PLEASE FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2-blWgVk-A

Rachel S said...

Ian--- I had no idea the Carpenter's ever just sat down and "got weird" together. Thanks for that link.