My parents have been talking a lot recently about cleaning out various storage areas, ie the garage, my entire bedroom, etc. I can't help but notice an at times hopeful, at times accusatory glance cast my way when they broach this topic. Granted, I admit to storing a fair amount of childhood detritus in their home, but all of my things are heirlooms and very, very tasteful. Why must I come home and start this process for them by throwing out my (still quite precious) belongings? Some of the things they seem to be having a hard time removing are ridiculous. Why wasn't the old toilet taken away after the installation of the new one? It's got its own special spot in the garage like it's a piece of arcane camping equipment. While I guess I've seen worse things at thrift stores, the idea of donating these burdensome, tasteless or useless items seems almost cruel. A garage sale is out of the question (think of us sitting there on the lawn in fold out chairs, the erstwhile family toilet mere feet away with "as is" sticker looking every bit like a pimple on the flush handle). Can you imagine the flyers?
GARAGE SALE! THIS SATURDAY! YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS...
-CANARY YELLOW RIBBED GARBAGE CAN! (standard size)
-BAG O' RAGS, PRE-OILED!
-PLASTIC NIGHTSTAND WITH WOOD GRAIN FINISH! (wood grain paper peeling off in spots, drawers rotten or broken)
-CERAMIC HUMINGBIRDS CANDLE CADDY- curious expressions suggest interest in votive!
-AROMATIC 30YO TOILET!
-HOME DECOR: POSTERS IN COLORED PLASTIC FRAMES! we never cared for them much- from drugstores
-METAL PALM TREES OUTDOOR WALL HANGING!
-PADS OF PAPER FEATURING AREA REALTORS!
-GRAY SYNTHETIC FOOTSTOOL WITH BRASS FEET! stained/sticky
-"EASY TIP" UNSTEADY PLANT STAND!
-ANTIQUE VINTAGE HAIR FRYER!
AND SO MUCH MORE!
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